Have you ever noticed parents trying to control their kids at restaurants? When I was single, I remember saying to myself, "My kids will never act that way in public." Then I actually had kids. In the 11 years that I have been a parent, my precious children have not only acted bad, but worse than most of the kids I have witnessed before.
One time, when my middle child, Samuel was around two, we were in a restaurant and he was pushing all of us to the limit. I thought someone was going to ask us to leave. Needless to say, I went from patient, to embarrassed, to angry within minutes. Finally, Haley looks at me with frustration in her voice, and says, "Well, are you going to do something?" You bet I was. I'd had enough. This evil child of mine was going to get the whooping of his life. With one ninja like motion, I snatched him up out of his high chair and we were off to the bathroom.
The bathroom, however, was all the way across the restaurant. In that long walk of shame, Samuel did something that I will never forget. As I am holding him in my arms ready to tear into him, he grabs my face and looks me in the eyes and says "I love you daddy."
I don't know if you have ever stared into the face of one who looks almost identical to you and heard those words before, but let me tell you it is life changing. All the anger, all the rage, all the frustration that was stirring within had suddenly vanished in one moment. I looked at my son and said, Do you promise to be good?" He nodded. And we turned back toward our seats, with me saying, "Just tell your mom that I whipped you."
The Bible tells us that we are made in the image of our Father (Gen. 1:26). So when we look to Him and tell Him how much we love Him, how could He deny us anything. He loves us so much and even though He must sometimes show us discipline, He forgives us every time. We fail to realize this because maybe we think that what we have done is too bad for forgiveness. You don't deserve forgiveness, you deserve to be taken to the bathroom in the restaurant and get a big fat whipping, but somewhere along the line, God sent His Son Jesus as payment for our sins, turned us around and set us back down at His table to eat once again.
So remember, you are God's kid, you are loved, and you are forgiven. Grab His face and tell Him how much you love Him today. It will truly melt His heart.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
The Worn Out Bible
Her day is filled with laughter and love
Listening to her favorite band
She always enjoys her time spent in prayer
With a worn out Bible in her hand
Through special occasions with family and friends
She helps out whenever she can
Except for the few moments she steals
To read the worn out Bible in her hand
No matter the struggles life throws her way
As unstable as shifting sand
She knows she can find comfort from God
In the worn out Bible in her hand
And as her life comes to an end
And her spirit is leaving this land
One thing is found not too far away
A worn out Bible on the night stand
author: Jotty Kinney
Listening to her favorite band
She always enjoys her time spent in prayer
With a worn out Bible in her hand
Through special occasions with family and friends
She helps out whenever she can
Except for the few moments she steals
To read the worn out Bible in her hand
No matter the struggles life throws her way
As unstable as shifting sand
She knows she can find comfort from God
In the worn out Bible in her hand
And as her life comes to an end
And her spirit is leaving this land
One thing is found not too far away
A worn out Bible on the night stand
author: Jotty Kinney
Thursday, November 17, 2011
We Are Surrounded
I have been blessed through the years, to be able to coach my boys in most of their sporting events. I love getting out on the field with the team, watching them compete and grow as young men. We have played baseball, basketball, soccer and this year we started football. No matter what the sport, the game can get intense. Most of the time, the kids are pretty cool about the whole experience, but the crazy ones are the parents.
When I started coaching, Jackson was around 4. The first sport that we could sign up for was t-ball. Every kid had the chance to hit and play in the field and parents just sat in the stands and lightly cheered. It seemed like a wonderful experience. Ladies in sun dresses sipping lemonade and enjoying the summer night. Then came the fall and with it, soccer season. All of a sudden these same ladies traded their summer dresses for warm up suits and went from cheering to straight up yelling. Yelling at the refs, yelling at the kids and heaven forbid, even yelling at me (mostly Haley yelling at me). I thought to myself, "What is the difference from t-ball to soccer?" Then I realized that in soccer, they are keeping score and the competitive juices started to flow. Ever since then, I have come to learn that parents (including myself) really are crazy.
I have often thought during games what the kids are thinking as this process is going on. Are they actually listening? Are they concerned, or could they care less? I mean, they are surrounded by stands of people, half cheering them on, the other half hoping they lose. Can you even imagine the pressure we put on our children even at the age of four years old.
It reminds me of a passage in Hebrews. In chapter 11, there is a long list of people who are deemed the "heroes of faith". In it are listed a group of heavy hitters who came through in clutch situations for their faith in God. People like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are there as well as Daniel, David and Samuel. Then Hebrews tells us in chapter 12 that "we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1). I imagine a huge stadium filled with saints from the past, family members gone home and maybe even an opposite side hoping we drop the ball. We also are surrounded by a group of people here on this earth watching us as Christians to see how we play the game of life as well.
So how do we win? Hebrews 12 continues by telling us to "lay aside every weight, and sin and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus". It reminds me of a time talking to my under 6 soccer team. We were huddled up and I could tell the team was losing focus (they are 5 year olds remember). I told them that Their mom was not the coach, their dad was not the coach, their grandpa was not the coach. I was their coach, and if they would just listen to me, I would put them in the place they need to be and to play well and even get a chance to win the game.
The world is going to try to yell at you from the sidelines. You are going to be screamed at from all different directions, but if you listen and look to Jesus the "author and finisher of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2), then you can be placed in the right position to not only win the game but look good doing it.
So remember, you are an important part of the team. Don't get distracted. Listen to your coach. Win the game. And as I always tell the boys, have fun doing it.
When I started coaching, Jackson was around 4. The first sport that we could sign up for was t-ball. Every kid had the chance to hit and play in the field and parents just sat in the stands and lightly cheered. It seemed like a wonderful experience. Ladies in sun dresses sipping lemonade and enjoying the summer night. Then came the fall and with it, soccer season. All of a sudden these same ladies traded their summer dresses for warm up suits and went from cheering to straight up yelling. Yelling at the refs, yelling at the kids and heaven forbid, even yelling at me (mostly Haley yelling at me). I thought to myself, "What is the difference from t-ball to soccer?" Then I realized that in soccer, they are keeping score and the competitive juices started to flow. Ever since then, I have come to learn that parents (including myself) really are crazy.
I have often thought during games what the kids are thinking as this process is going on. Are they actually listening? Are they concerned, or could they care less? I mean, they are surrounded by stands of people, half cheering them on, the other half hoping they lose. Can you even imagine the pressure we put on our children even at the age of four years old.
It reminds me of a passage in Hebrews. In chapter 11, there is a long list of people who are deemed the "heroes of faith". In it are listed a group of heavy hitters who came through in clutch situations for their faith in God. People like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are there as well as Daniel, David and Samuel. Then Hebrews tells us in chapter 12 that "we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1). I imagine a huge stadium filled with saints from the past, family members gone home and maybe even an opposite side hoping we drop the ball. We also are surrounded by a group of people here on this earth watching us as Christians to see how we play the game of life as well.
So how do we win? Hebrews 12 continues by telling us to "lay aside every weight, and sin and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus". It reminds me of a time talking to my under 6 soccer team. We were huddled up and I could tell the team was losing focus (they are 5 year olds remember). I told them that Their mom was not the coach, their dad was not the coach, their grandpa was not the coach. I was their coach, and if they would just listen to me, I would put them in the place they need to be and to play well and even get a chance to win the game.
The world is going to try to yell at you from the sidelines. You are going to be screamed at from all different directions, but if you listen and look to Jesus the "author and finisher of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2), then you can be placed in the right position to not only win the game but look good doing it.
So remember, you are an important part of the team. Don't get distracted. Listen to your coach. Win the game. And as I always tell the boys, have fun doing it.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Baby Food
Having a new baby around has been a real joy for our family. Haley, the boys and I have loved the experience of watching Charlie grow over the past six weeks. Already he's starting to hold his head up, push back, and show his Kung fu grip. It won't be long before he is rolling over, walking and graduating from college.
Ok, maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but the point is, we were made to grow up. If you feed a baby, eventually he will grow (and need his diaper changed). The same is true for us spiritually. The more we feed our spirits, the more they will grow. The problem is, we are not growing.
Paul tells the Corinthian people that he wanted to give them more solid food to consume but they couldn't receive it because they were still drinking the milk. They were living a carnal life and not growing toward maturity (I Corinthians 3).
Imagine holding a beautiful baby in your arms. Watching him sleep, feeding him his bottle, burping him (maybe not that last one). Now imagine doing that for a fifteen year old. In the same way, our Father wants us to move past the early stages of our faith and into a something more powerful. Just as a dad wants to teach his son to play catch, ride a bike, and fish, our heavenly Dad wants to do cool stuff with you. He will never be able if we are still trying to simply hold our head up.
Remember, in order for us to grow, we need to be fed. What are you consuming? Is it growing your spirit? I can't wait to hear Charlie's first word (dada)' wrestle with him (and show him the dreaded "CLAW"), and jump off the bunk beds (don't tell Haley). Maybe, just maybe, God is waiting to do cool stuff with you too.
Ok, maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but the point is, we were made to grow up. If you feed a baby, eventually he will grow (and need his diaper changed). The same is true for us spiritually. The more we feed our spirits, the more they will grow. The problem is, we are not growing.
Paul tells the Corinthian people that he wanted to give them more solid food to consume but they couldn't receive it because they were still drinking the milk. They were living a carnal life and not growing toward maturity (I Corinthians 3).
Imagine holding a beautiful baby in your arms. Watching him sleep, feeding him his bottle, burping him (maybe not that last one). Now imagine doing that for a fifteen year old. In the same way, our Father wants us to move past the early stages of our faith and into a something more powerful. Just as a dad wants to teach his son to play catch, ride a bike, and fish, our heavenly Dad wants to do cool stuff with you. He will never be able if we are still trying to simply hold our head up.
Remember, in order for us to grow, we need to be fed. What are you consuming? Is it growing your spirit? I can't wait to hear Charlie's first word (dada)' wrestle with him (and show him the dreaded "CLAW"), and jump off the bunk beds (don't tell Haley). Maybe, just maybe, God is waiting to do cool stuff with you too.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Love Expanded
The day I became a dad was one of the greatest moments of my life. On November 3, 2000, we welcomed Jackson Parker Kinney into the world. From the moment I held him I was his. I remember in that instant, I felt so much love for one person that I thought I would explode. I was going to teach him everything. We were going to play catch, go fishing, and wrestle. I soon realized that I would have to wait a few years for those things to happen, but you get the picture. I could not imagine loving anyone the way I loved that boy.
Then along came Samuel Alan Kinney. He came into the world much different. As Jack was born, he looked like the movie star baby. With a head full of hair a tan color and beautiful, he looked perfect. Sam, however, looked different. Cheesy and white, he looked like he had just been on the losing end of a twelve round prize fight. It didn't matter to me what he looked like, in that moment, the love that I had for Jack was not split in half for Sam, but my capacity was doubled. He was night and day different than his brother, but I loved him just as much.
Now we have welcomed little Charlie into our family. On September 1, he came screaming into the world. I thought there was no way I could find a way to love this little boy like the two incredible boys God has already given me, but I have. All the wonders of making the right decision were quickly expelled as my wife and I began to meet this precious gift. Now our family is complete. Jackson, Samuel, and Charlie are the loves of our lives and Haley and I would not have it any other way.
When I think about the love I have for these boys, it reminds me of how much God loves us. With billions of children on the planet, God doesn't split up His love among us but expands His love to accommodate each arrival. He's known us since before we were formed and He loves us unconditionally. No matter what we have done or what we will do, He will never stop.
As a dad now I get it. That's why I feel like God loves me more than anyone and I guess so should you. So remember, you are loved with all the love that God has within Him. He has reserved a special place in His heart just for you. Whether you are the "perfect baby" or have a few bumps, you are His, and He would not have it any other way.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Do Your Job
Getting up for school in the mornings is a very difficult task in the Kinney household. Nobody wants to get up. The kids want to stay in bed, I want to stay in bed and my wife, Haley, she definitely wants to stay in bed. So from the time we all get up till we make the mad dash down our street to the school, the house is a toothpaste flying, clothes slinging, crying and yelling good time.
One particular morning, I go in to wake up the boys. Sam, our second grader, is usually the easiest one to get up, but this morning, he was like a rock. I am talking about the poke him and see if he moves type of still. After seeing him stir just a little, I reached into my dad's bag-o-tricks to get him to rise and shine. I shook him (not too hard so don't freak out). I rolled him. I kissed him (which he hates because I haven't brushed my teeth yet). I even told him that a bunch of girls were coming and were going to see him in his underwear. I threatened him and yelled at him but nothing seemed to work. Then I used the scariest move of all. The one only reserved for the ultimate last resort. I told him, "If you don't get up, I am going to get your mother in here and she is going to whip your tail." This made him roll over and say back to me without missing a beat, "You are going to send a woman in here to do your man job?" After dragging him out of the bed and chasing him all the way to the shower, I began to think about the statement. Why was I willing to pawn off my job as a parent when I was perfectly capable of doing it myself?
We all have been caught up in the trap of pawning off the job that God has called US to do. He has given us a task and the ability to complete it but we often feel inadequate, afraid and indifferent to the calling in our lives. This is nothing new to God. From Moses' speech issues to Gideon throwing out fleeces to Peter's denial, people throughout scripture have backed out, made excuses and tried to weasel their way out of God's design for their lives.
It is time God's people began to stop getting someone else to do the ministry and get out there and be the church He has called us to be. I am glad to have learned this lesson, even if it came from sleepy seven year old. Now the only problem is, how to get these guys up. I think I will try burning the breakfast and letting the fire alarm go off like my mom used to do to me.
One particular morning, I go in to wake up the boys. Sam, our second grader, is usually the easiest one to get up, but this morning, he was like a rock. I am talking about the poke him and see if he moves type of still. After seeing him stir just a little, I reached into my dad's bag-o-tricks to get him to rise and shine. I shook him (not too hard so don't freak out). I rolled him. I kissed him (which he hates because I haven't brushed my teeth yet). I even told him that a bunch of girls were coming and were going to see him in his underwear. I threatened him and yelled at him but nothing seemed to work. Then I used the scariest move of all. The one only reserved for the ultimate last resort. I told him, "If you don't get up, I am going to get your mother in here and she is going to whip your tail." This made him roll over and say back to me without missing a beat, "You are going to send a woman in here to do your man job?" After dragging him out of the bed and chasing him all the way to the shower, I began to think about the statement. Why was I willing to pawn off my job as a parent when I was perfectly capable of doing it myself?
We all have been caught up in the trap of pawning off the job that God has called US to do. He has given us a task and the ability to complete it but we often feel inadequate, afraid and indifferent to the calling in our lives. This is nothing new to God. From Moses' speech issues to Gideon throwing out fleeces to Peter's denial, people throughout scripture have backed out, made excuses and tried to weasel their way out of God's design for their lives.
It is time God's people began to stop getting someone else to do the ministry and get out there and be the church He has called us to be. I am glad to have learned this lesson, even if it came from sleepy seven year old. Now the only problem is, how to get these guys up. I think I will try burning the breakfast and letting the fire alarm go off like my mom used to do to me.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Hurry Up Charlie
Pretty soon Haley and I will be the proud parents of yet another boy. As the time is coming closer and closer, we are super pumped and cannot wait for little Charlie (news flash if you didn't know the name we have chosen yet) to get here. As I stood in the doctor's office and watched him on the sonogram, I couldn't help but want to hold him right then.
But enough about me, after all I'm not the one carrying the little man-child, Haley is. I'm not the one gaining the weight, Haley is (and she looks beautiful by the way). And I am definitely not going to go through the pain of labor to see this kid come into the world, yep, you guessed it, Haley is. I asked her to tell me what I should say when people ask me how she is doing. She simply tells me to tell them that "she is ready". Every mom knows what that means.
It is hard not to be anxious in a time like this because our excitement level is at an 11. As a matter of fact, we have been hinting for weeks to get our doctor, Mandy, to go ahead and let's go after him. She simply explains to us that some things are going to need to wait.
Philippians 4:6 tells us to be "anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God". People who are anxious have a desire to replace their current time and situation with a future time and a future result. For example, we might like to jump forward in time to when we have that promotion, or that special someone is finally in our lives. We want to skip the process and go straight to the victory.
What we fail to understand though is that God has a purpose for the process. We see growth in the groundwork and maturity in the mundane. And just as a baby needs time to develop in the womb, God gives us time to allow things to develop in our lives as well.
So what do we do? In everything, bring it to God with prayer and thanksgiving. Prayer to recognize your need, and thanksgiving to praise God for His ability. No matter how big or how small, when you bring it to God, you put Him not only in the process, you give Him control.
Look what happens when we do that. Verse 7 goes on to say "and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (NKJV) That means that when we bring everything to God, His peace takes over. Where our understanding gives out, His begins to (and I love this) guard our hearts and minds.
The bottom line is that no matter what you are facing right now, give it to God. He will give you peace, understanding and guard you from anything you might be worried about. So for now we will just have to wait. Charlie's time will come soon enough. I guess then we will be anxious for him to get out of diapers.
But enough about me, after all I'm not the one carrying the little man-child, Haley is. I'm not the one gaining the weight, Haley is (and she looks beautiful by the way). And I am definitely not going to go through the pain of labor to see this kid come into the world, yep, you guessed it, Haley is. I asked her to tell me what I should say when people ask me how she is doing. She simply tells me to tell them that "she is ready". Every mom knows what that means.
It is hard not to be anxious in a time like this because our excitement level is at an 11. As a matter of fact, we have been hinting for weeks to get our doctor, Mandy, to go ahead and let's go after him. She simply explains to us that some things are going to need to wait.
Philippians 4:6 tells us to be "anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God". People who are anxious have a desire to replace their current time and situation with a future time and a future result. For example, we might like to jump forward in time to when we have that promotion, or that special someone is finally in our lives. We want to skip the process and go straight to the victory.
What we fail to understand though is that God has a purpose for the process. We see growth in the groundwork and maturity in the mundane. And just as a baby needs time to develop in the womb, God gives us time to allow things to develop in our lives as well.
So what do we do? In everything, bring it to God with prayer and thanksgiving. Prayer to recognize your need, and thanksgiving to praise God for His ability. No matter how big or how small, when you bring it to God, you put Him not only in the process, you give Him control.
Look what happens when we do that. Verse 7 goes on to say "and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (NKJV) That means that when we bring everything to God, His peace takes over. Where our understanding gives out, His begins to (and I love this) guard our hearts and minds.
The bottom line is that no matter what you are facing right now, give it to God. He will give you peace, understanding and guard you from anything you might be worried about. So for now we will just have to wait. Charlie's time will come soon enough. I guess then we will be anxious for him to get out of diapers.
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Launch
In 1995 I had the opportunity to be a councilor at a retreat for PK's (pastors kids). The weekend was my first experience in the lives of young men and women who were in essence the objects of their home churches affections. I thought to myself "what a life, everyone must love these guys and think the world of them". Through the weekend though I quickly found out that life was sometimes difficult to say the least. All eyes were constantly on them. The term used during the weekend was "life is a fishbowl". So as I thought about a title for this blog, I thought about my (and my families) life and how it is like a fishbowl. As pastors, we are looked upon by our church, friends, family and community. This is life as we know it. My boys Jackson (10) and Samuel (7) and the baby on the way (another boy. which is another story for another time) did not choose to be in this fishbowl as Haley and I did, but they are there none the less. Some would find this troubling to be this exposed, but I have come to embrace the calling. What a platform to live life and be an example to so many people. They have seen me succeed (which I have done a few times), but also fail (which I have done a few times as well). People have seen me do really cool things for the glory of God, but have also seen me very human. Hopefully, people can realize that pastors and their families are just like everyone else. Through this blog, I hope to share some of the experiences and insights of a typical pastor's life. So here it is "Life in the Fishbowl". I hope you enjoy it.
Just keep swimming
jotty
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